


Distance

by Couchthief



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically everyone is mentioned - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, I'm only kinda sorry, M/M, Nico cries a lot, Original character is a dick, SO MUCH ANGST I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING, So much angst, TW: Emotional Abuse in later chapters, Will messes up but he fixes it, rated for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 09:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6280066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couchthief/pseuds/Couchthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico Di Angelo and Will Solace have become pretty close friends, even beginning to touch on becoming more when the son of Apollo graduates high school, and goes to move on to college. Though the two spend much time Iris messaging one another, and promise the distance between them will not ruin what they have built, Will worries. So he asks one of his half brothers, Alex Klein, to become Nico's friend and keep him company in his absence. Which works out great.<br/>Until Alex asks the Di Angelo boy out on a date.<br/>Prepare for much angst and pain for both boys as they sort through their feelings for one another, surprisingly undeterred by the distance that stretches between their hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Something always brings me back to you  
> It never takes too long

The day I met Will Solace was the day I should have died. And when I say I was nothing but a shadow before I met him, I mean it quite literally. 

I don’t recall much about the first few days I was around him. He was a healer, in a sea of healers. Flashes of blonde hair, the ghost of a desperate voice calling an unfamiliar name. Will. It wasn’t like in all those movies, where you know immediately, that’s the one. No, he was just one. One among many others, and far less noticeable than Reyna’s firm voice conversing with one of the healers, or Piper, beautifully singing me lullabies at night. Even those were hard to differentiate when all you are is cold, and weak, and it feels as though you are tied to this earth by nothing but the will of other’s hands. 

Three days, I was like that. A literal ghost of my past self, the only notable sign of healing the solidification of my body. They say I never woke up but I remember their voices vaguely, as if a dream. The looks of their faces. I remember Hazel’s warm eyes staring at me and me alone for so long, searching for… something. I remember wanting desperately to reach out and take that crestfallen, defeated expression from her golden gaze. The hurt reflected there was something she didn’t deserve.

And then I woke up.

It was no sudden, gasping rush into the world of light. No painful cry, as if awoken from a terrible, twisting nightmare. No, it just simply… was. One moment my eyes were closed, and the next they were open, squinting against the light I had missed for three days time. Three, the calendar said, though my mind protested that surely it must have been so much longer.

I didn’t care much at the time, but it was Will Solace’s freckled face I saw first. He was in the room, checking up on me when my dark eyes opened. I suppose he must have looked surprised, or relieved, or maybe even stern as he rushed to my side, a startled “Nico!?” escaping his lips. (Let me tell you one thing. I can’t recall how the light reflected off his hair, nor can I describe to you the color of his eyes as they reflected against my newly opened pair, but I can remember with perfect clarity exactly how the sound of my name upon his lips sounded that day. The first time i’d ever hear him utter it.)

Of course the cry drew attention, until more healers joined him, smiling at me. Apparently I was their only patient or something, because they had nothing better to do than gaze at me with happy, bright eyes that made my skin crawl. But nothing they could say or do compared to when Hazel rushed into the room, Frank in tow, a relieved sob escaping her chest as she flung herself at me. She hugged me close despite my whining, and gods be damned her arms felt warmer than anything i’d ever felt before. 

“Nico! Oh my gods, Nico!” She uttered my name frantically, pulling away and brushing the hair out of my face with gentle fingers, cupping my cheeks lovingly. Her hands felt so very warm to me, and I let my eyes slip closed for just a moment, enjoying the simple warmth of the feeling. She pressed a kiss to my forehead and when I opened my eyes once more, she had pulled away at Will’s insistence, saying that I was not yet strong enough to be touched, or moved. That I was still part shadow. 

In truth, I felt it. The cold stillness of my limbs promised that no matter how hard I tried to move them, I would find myself unable to. My heart beat like a slow metronome, each thud echoing loudly in the emptiness of my chest. Though I was certain, to anyone else, it sounded weak and frail, like I looked. 

It was then that Jason burst in like a whirlwind, fixing his glasses on his face as he rushed over. He went to hug me, but was stopped by Hazel, who quickly explained the situation. It was at this point I realized- I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. In fact, I couldn’t make out a single individual sound anyone in the room was making. It was all just murmurs, like I was trapped underwater and everyone else was above. 

I felt fear creeping in like a demon, touching my cold limbs with even colder ice, sending droplets of chills down a spine too weak to shudder. I couldn’t understand them. All these voices in the room, all these eyes on me, and I could not understand for the life of me. It was terrifying, as if I’d somehow detached from the meanings of the words they spoke, though I knew they were words. I know my eyes were wide as they flicked about the room wildly, until they landed on a pair of deep blue ones. They caught my eyes and held them, blonde eyebrows furrowing as he pushed his way through the wall of my friends- who had been joined by Percy- and to me. 

He said something, but it was a murmur. Murmurs, so loud and strange and distinctly  _ foreign  _ to me, I felt anxiety turning in my stomach. Will watched my eyes look around the room a moment, before standing, saying something. The murmurs went quiet, and he began to push people out of the room hurriedly as I found myself struggling to breathe. Oh gods. I was having an attack. My breaths were gasps by the point, my body made of shudders as I grasped desperately for a  _ reason.  _ But perhaps that was what had brought me here in the first place, the collapse of my senses, the fear of the inability to hear. Will came over and tried to speak to me, but I still couldn't understand. I couldn't understand. I couldn't move. My mind moved at a million miles an hour but for some reason couldn't focus long enough to hear a word he said, or to connect the sounds to thoughts, so instead he took my hand. Gently. He held it loosely in his, barely any pressure against the skin. But I could feel it, I could feel  _ him. _ And he was warm. 

I grasped that warmth like a lifeline, a promise. That that was his hand there, holding mine. I let my eyes travel up his arm, up to his face, locking onto it. Onto that soft expression as he spoke in soft tones 

“Nico… Nico breathe, Nico you have to breathe…” I saw the moment he realized I could hear him, as I myself comprehended as such with him. He met my gaze with a gentle steadiness, his voice calm, even, and yet so soft and warm. I latched onto it. “Breathe with me, Nico. Please.” He took a deep breath in, tapping a gentle, steady tune on my hand. 8 beats in, 3 beats out. I struggled, choking on my breath a few times before I finally managed to follow the breaths, focusing on that beat, on Will’s hand, on his breaths. I felt my heartbeat begin to slow, became aware of tears that had fallen without my noticing. Will smiled softly at me, still holding my hand, now stroking it gently.  

“I've got you, Di Angelo. It's alright. You're okay. You're safe.” His voice reassured me, and I felt that pounding in my chest slow even more. Somehow within me I found the strength to nod weakly at him, so very glad that he kept my hand in his, that I had his warmth. I needed his warmth, in that moment. 

It was odd, how comfortable his hands made me feel. How at ease his voice set me, how gently his eyes regarded me. I couldn't remember the last time i’d felt so safe. Maybe it was because I was so weak, and cold, and he was strong and warm, but when he promised he was there, that I was safe, I believed him. And it felt nice, believing that he would protect me, that I didn't have to be so afraid. 

I felt myself calm more, and yet, Will did not draw his hand away. “I'm so glad you're awake, Nico…” he said gently, staring at their hands, thumb running over my knuckles, “I was worried, when they brought you in here, that you wouldn't leave. You really have to stop overdoing it with the shadow travel.” He looked back up at me, and I looked away, ashamed. 

“Sorry.” I croaked out, just moving my lips that much a challenge. But the sound of my voice brought this grin to his face as he perked up, the wide smile revealing adorable dimples on his cheeks. It was as if me speaking had just made his day, as if he was jumping and leaping inside. It was honestly really dorky, but not unappealing.

And that was how I met Will Solace, and where the story begins.  


	2. Iris Messages Aren't Ideal

A common misconception about Iris calls is that the magic keeps a perfect connection. This is not true. In fact, at that moment I was sat before the frozen face of one Will Solace, and let me tell you, it was hilarious. 

He had been caught mid-sneeze, nose scrunched up, head tilted back, hand hiding his mouth as he was about to sneeze. I could still hear him, asking what was going on, why I was giggling so much. 

“Di Angelo, what on  _ earth  _ is so funny!?” He whined, just making me laugh more, tears leaking out of my eyes. I always laughed a lot when I was talking to him, something only he could manage. Finally the image broke, to show his confused grin. I saw it widen as he saw me, showing his absolutely adorable dimples. “You’re so cute!!” He laughed. 

“Am not!” I shouted back, feeling my cheeks heat up. He always called me cute, but I had no clue where he got that. Bags under my eyes, contrasting against my pale skin, dark, messy hair that refused to calm despite my endless brushing, oh yeah and the whole prince of the underworld thing… not really what one would normally consider  _ cute. _ But he did, and refused to listen to my arguments. 

“Are too!” He retorted, “And the blushing doesn’t help your case, Sunshine.” He smirked then, knowing I hated the nickname. 

“Oh shut it over there, Jackass.” I crossed my arms and huffed at him, glaring. As much as I whined, I really did enjoy this banter. I’d missed him terribly. We hadn’t been able to talk like this for the past few weeks, and I really had no one else. 

“Why don’t you come here and make me, hm?” He teased lightly, and I cracked, a snicker escaping me.

“You know I would if I could” I crossed my legs over one another and gave him a helpless shrug, “But  _ someone  _ won’t let me shadow travel” 

“It’s not good for you, Neeks!” Will whined at me, “I’m a  _ doctor,  _ I’m not having you hurt yourself just to get to me.”

“Not a doctor yet, med school.” I couldn’t help but point out. That’s where he was, med school. He was nineteen, and had run off to start his life as a mortal. I didn’t fault him for it, but when your best friend leaves with almost all of your other friends, and you can’t follow… it’s hard. And that’s not even including the huge crush I had on him. That was… a different box of chocolates. 

I was reminded of it then, when he looked at me with those eyes, that stupid soft smile playing at his lips. I couldn’t help but want… things I shouldn’t want. To fall into his arms, to be close to him. to lay for hours with him and listen to the beat of his heart. I looked down, at my hands in my lap. 

_ No, I can’t have that. _

“Hey, Neeks?” His voice was hesitant, almost… nervous? I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. He looked as nervous as he sounded, unable to meet my gaze. “I… I, Uh…” He bit his lip, pausing and closing his eyes. It was almost as if the words he meant to say hurt him. Then he looked back to me, shoulders falling ever so slightly. “You should get some rest.” The words fell flat upon my ears, and I couldn’t help but think that wasn’t what he meant to say. But I let it go. If he didn’t want to say whatever pressed against his mind, so be it. I let my eyes flick to the clock. It was already 3am here, 2am for him.

“I’m not really tired…” I protested a bit, knowing it was in vain. Once Will knew I was neglecting myself, there was no stopping him from making me fix it. In this case, as in most cases, it was sleep. 

“Nico.” He said, voice firm, “You need to sleep.”

I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped me as I hunched forward. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to be without him. I feared the nightmares, the loneliness. That awful distance. I knew that if I just told him my fears, he’d stay until I slept. But… I also knew he needed to sleep too, and I couldn’t guilt him into staying. I looked up at him and nodded. “Okay, I’ll try.”

A small, sad smile found his face. “Thank you, Nico.” He sounded genuinely glad that I was going to sleep, and I felt a twinge of guilt. I would try to sleep, but I knew I would try in vain. Sleep and I weren’t very good friends. But hopefully he’d sleep better, thinking I tried. 

“Goodnight, Will.” I said softly, meeting his gaze through the iris message. 

“Goodnight, Neeks.” His voice was lighter than mine as he said my name. And then there it was, the pause. The moment of silence as we regarded each other, begging to be filled with meaningful words. 

_ I love you. _

Then he gave a little wave, and dispersed the image. I watched as the light of his room, of his face, dispersed into glittering crystals of water that diffused into the air like nothing had transpired. But I felt it, like a weight. I’d like to say that his presence affected me even after he’d left, that his warmth remained. But like his image, that too dispersed, replaced with the dark cloud I’d long ago accepted as my personal definition of ‘okay.’

I let my body fall back onto my bed, arms spreading on either side of me and legs dangling over the side as I stared up at the darkness I’d identified as my ceiling. The downside of having the Hades cabin all to yourself is that all the dark greys and blacks were even darker at night, and when you’re by yourself all that cold stone could be really depressing. I felt it now, that oppreively dark environment, simply aiding the shadows in my chest.

I knew, without a doubt, that I was hopelessly and completely in love with Will Solace. I recognized his voice immediately, saw him in the sunrise and the medics and in every single Apollo kid, I found myself dreaming of him, thinking of him. But mostly, I missed him. I missed him every time I found my feet carrying me towards the apollo cabin automatically, every time I caught myself humming one of his songs, every single time I saw a sunflower. I loved Will Solace, and it hurt like Hades.

It hurt because I knew, I knew he could never love me back. How could he? Who could love the dark son of Hades, the boy with baggage under his eyes and in his heart? Who could fall for my ugly, depressed, helpless self? I raised an arm, studied the scars that glinted in the moonlight that streamed from a window nearby. Wounds gained in battles, scars that marred the skin, made it ugly and thick and silvery. 

I wondered, then, what kind of scars my soul wore. The trials I had faces, the sights of Tartarus, the loneliness and fear and loss I’d carried throughout most of my youth. My soul was scarred, and it was scarred badly. Who wanted a soul, a heart that was covered in so many ugly scars? Certainly not a boy who came from the sun itself, who bathed in each passing day like it was a song written just for him. 

No, Will did not love me back.

                                                   -----------------------------                     

It was weeks before we had another chance to Iris message. Weeks spent nearly silently, for me. Weeks wondering where he was, if he was okay. A part of me wondered if he ever tried but happened to call when I was away from the cabin. Another part of me said there was no way, that I was in the cabin so much more than I wasn't and the chances of that were... slim. 

I told myself he was just busy, that he couldn't call because he was buried in schoolwork, that med school is hard and he doesn't have the time to talk to me. I wanted to believe he wanted to talk to me. I wanted to believe he thought of me. I couldn't bring myself to believe such wonderful fantasies, though. Perhaps that was a side effect of getting my hopes crushed too often. Perhaps the demons in my mind simply hated to let me think anything good of myself. 

I was laid out in bed, reading about a blonde headed dragon rider. You'd think that being the son of Hades, I wouldn't need to escape into fantasy realms to live adventures vicariously, but then you'd be thinking wrong. I still loved reading fantasy novels, and I'd stolen a good number of them from the Athena cabin to enjoy. I was thoroughly submerged in the adventures of the farm boy made hero when a voice burst from beside me. 

“Whatchya reading, Neeks?” Will’s voice made me jump so hard I almost fell off the bed, and I whipped over to look at him with wild eyes. 

“What the Hades, Will!?” I gasped out, placing a hand over my heart to calm it. I scowled at him a long moment before I comprehended that there was no rainbow he was sat in, and that I could see his legs. He was… actually in my cabin. I felt my body reacting faster than my mind, lunging off of the bed to tackle him in a hug. He stumbled back but managed to catch me, his strong arms wrapping tightly around my back. He buried his face in my hair and we stood a moment, holding each other tightly. 

“Hey.” He said, voice muffled slightly by my thick hair. Still, he didn’t move away.

It’s funny, the little things you miss without noticing. I never realized how much I’d missed his scent until I was surrounded by it, or the feel of his skin against mine, or the sound of his heartbeat. I swore, I could have stayed in his arms forever. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I pulled away, but I almost thought his fingers trailed over my hips as I drew back, and I felt shocks go up my spine. But his hands fell limply to his sides, and I dispelled the fantasy. Surely, he hadn’t. 

“Hey,” I said, a smile spreading across my face. I couldn’t help the absolute euphoria that gushed from my chest in the form of a grin. “What, uh, what brings you here?”

At that, his own smile widened as he shook his head at me, stepping a bit closer. I cursed how my heart faltered at the small movement, and how it thundered when he placed a hand on my shoulder, still shaking his head. “Nico di  Angelo, when will you accept that we’re friends?” 

I cocked my head, confused. “What?” 

“I came for you.” He booped my nose, which made me scrunch my nose at him and bat his hand away.

“Did you just  _ boop  _ the Ghost King?” I arched an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Nah.” He smirked, “I just booped a huge nerd.” 

I couldn’t help it. Laughter bubbled out of me and I covered my mouth with my hand, hunching slightly. “I’m not the one booping people here, dork!” I shot back, a weak comeback but a comeback nonetheless. He shook his head, chuckling softly at me. 

“No, the Ghost King doesn’t do boops.”   
“Now you’re getting it.”

Will let out a sigh, staring at me and smiling. He had that look again, those gentle eyes that were so full of thought. It was as if he was a million years away, but still staring at me. The faraway eyes I fell for. “What on earth am I going to do with you, di Angelo?”

_ Hold me. Run your fingers through my hair. Kiss me. Love me. _

I dispelled the thoughts like mist, and blinked a few times at him as I gathered myself. “Bring me McDonalds?” I offered, forcing a small smile for Will’s sake. 

“Ugh.” He wrinkled his nose, “You know that stuff will wreck your body, right?” 

I giggled. I’d missed this, his doctoring that was simultaneously annoying and nice. A little reminder that he actually… cared about me and my health. It made me warm inside- and that was a pretty big deal given my current situation. 

“Hey, i’d rather die early and happy than die old without McDonalds.” I moved back, hopping up onto my bed. WIll rolled his eyes at me and walked over, sitting beside me, just a little closer than my heart could take. From here I could smell his cologne, a woody scent mingling with the natural scent of coffee and hazelnut on his skin. 

“You’re impossible.” He sighed, giving up. I punched his arm lightly. 

“You’re such a mom.” I teased, giving him a smile. He shook his head at me, his grin devolving into a soft smile. He was almost always smiling, something I’d admired since I met him. 

“Yeah, yeah…” He nudged my shoulder gently, “So… Hey, Neeks. How have you been?” His voice took on a hint of seriousness as he asked the question, telling me he wanted honesty. 

I swallowed and looked away. I was never good at lying to Will, especially not when he practically radiated warmth and care. I bit my lip, faced with the impossible decision. Tell him how i’d actually been, or lie and save him the worry? “I’ve been… alright.” The lie slipped out, as it always did. I was so used to lying, it was hard to tell anyone how I honestly was. 

Unfortunately, Will could almost always see right through that. “Nico, come on.” He nudged my shoulder gently again, “How have you been, really?”

_ Lonely. I’ve missed you like Hades, my nightmares have come back tenfold, and I have no one. I’ve hardly been eating or sleeping, and your absence is literally killing me. I’m all alone here, Will, and I never knew how scary loneliness could be until you left. _

“I’ve been managing.”

Will sighed, running a hand through his hair. I could feel it, he was already worrying. I hated that I made him worry. “What have you been up to?” He asked, for the sake of conversation. Maybe to try and pry free more info about how I’d been. 

“Just been reading and training and stuff. Nothing interesting.” I kept the answer cryptic, but honest. The stuff was me laying in bed, feeling like garbage and wishing for some company. Being alone scared me more than I’d care to admit, reminded me far too much of those years running from what I’d lost, who I’d become. 

“Any friends?” He offered, as if reading my mind. He really did know all the right questions to ask, didn’t he?

“No.” The word came out a bit too suddenly for me, and though I couldn’t see his face as he turned to me, I knew Will was concerned about it. 

“Why not?” He asked softly, hesitantly. It struck me like a blow, the concern and empathy bringing forth emotions I didn’t want rising. I fought back the tide of pain that threatened tears, shitting my eyes a moment. 

“I dunno. No one wants to be, I guess.” I forced a shrug, hoping Will wouldn’t hear how rough my voice had gotten. There was a pregnant pause between us as he chewed his lip, probably thinking through what to say. I’d always appreciated that about Will, he thought things through. 

“I’m sorry.” His voice hinted at some silent pain, but it might have just been worry disguised. I glanced over at his concerned frown and wanted to shrink back. I was making him worry again. “I wish I could help…” He said, placing a hand on my shoulder again. 

“Don’t worry about it.” I managed,shrugging weakly. The last thing I wanted was for Will to worry and feel helpless. I knew all too well how much that feeling sucked. “I’ll manage.” 

He looked into my eyes intensely for a moment, blue determination reflecting against my dark irises. “You shouldn’t have to just manage, Nico.” He stated, hand tightening on my shoulder a moment. It wasn’t anger I felt in his gaze, but rather intense care. I was lost for words. After a moment, his hand relaxed with his posture, a soft sigh escaping him. “I… I’m sorry I’ve been so busy.” 

I shook my head at him. “Don’t, it’s okay. You have a lot of work to do, I understand.” He responded with a sigh, pulling his hand away and hunching slightly. “Really, it’s okay Will. Thank you for caring.” I pressed my shoulder against his, hoping to provide some reassurance or something. 

He perked up a bit, nodding. “We’ll figure this friend thing out, okay?” He said, turning his head towards me. 

I nodded my head for his sake. “Yeah, yeah I’m sure we will.”

_ If only you knew how hard that will be, Will. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me guys, this chapter was kinda slow but required.   
> Next chapter guaranteed to come with 50% more tears  
> Also, thank you guys so much for the kudos!!! You have no idea how much it means that people actually notice and enjoy the work I'm doing! Have a wonderful day, night, or whatever time it is. <3


	3. New Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG  
> Please forgive me, and enjoy the chapter.

Will stayed a few sunlit days. His laughter was my soundtrack during those days, his smile my favorite painting. I caught myself staring at him way more often then I should have, and spent almost every moment with him, basking in his warmth. As usual, I read far too much into the way his hands almost seemed to linger near me, or the way his grin would turn to a soft, lopsided smile as those gorgeous blue eyes stared at me. More than once, I caught breaks in the conversation where he just stared at me for a moment, this sort of lost, desperate gleam to his eyes. I met his gaze, searching their depths for some answer as to why he stared at me so, for of course it couldn’t be the reason I would look at him like that. Like the thing before me was a gift, a work of art, sculpted by Apollo himself just for me. As if the stars themselves had each put a drop of pure light into his form, like each and every color shone just slightly brighter because he existed.

        Of course he couldn’t be looking at me for that reason.

        Then, he left. There was no fantastic moment at the airport, where the boy turns at the last moment and runs back to his love, twirling them in the air and kissing them passionately. No, for Will and I were not lovers, we weren’t even in the space between friend and lover. We just were. Friends, buddies, bros. That seemed to be my curse, to fall for boys who would never regard me with the eyes I used to look upon them. Absently, I wondered as he walked away, how his eyes would reflect such love. I decided they would be absolutely beautiful.

        My heavy feet carried me back to my cabin, and yes, it was true. His absence dulled the world. The sun was just setting as I walked, a single form, hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched. And I felt it, what I had been so gladly free of for those days. The darkness, coiling in my chest. Hollowness beginning to stretch in my torso, threatening to eat me alive. And the tiny lump in my throat, growing steadily larger.

        I was alone, now. Alone, again. Alone. The word echoed in my head as my feet carried me faster, farther. Past my cabin, past my friends’ cabins, past anyone who could possibly help. No, the only one who could possibly help was long gone, headed back to his future, his life, his world without me. Alone. I broke the line of trees that marked the start of forest, and began to run. Sprint. As fast as I could. Escape the darkness that lingered in my cabin, the death that chased my every step. To escape that horrible loneliness that seemed to sting so much more sharply just after Will visited.

        I didn’t notice the tears until they began to blur my vision, dripping down my cold cheeks, splattering onto my black shirt. I didn’t care, I just ran. Until my legs burned, my throat burned, my lungs burned. Everything burned, except the ice forming in my chest. Then I stumbled, tripping over my feet with a startled cry and sprawling forward onto the dirt.

        I lay there, choking on my own tears, my body shaking with coughs mingled with sobs. I curled up on my side, as if wounded, though I knew the only serious wound I bore was the one in my chest. Where the echoes of my heartbeat were swallowed into that black hole, where the sunlight from Will had receded into hollowness. I curled up in the dirt, shaking, shivering though surely it wasn’t that cold. Alone.

        Briefly, I considered what it would be like if I just lay here, never getting up. If I let the plantlife grow over my body, claim me as it’s own. To sink into the earth where all there is is darkness and warmth, where no golden haired boys left and took your heart with them, where there was no one to care if you were made of sleeplessness and death. I wanted to, to let darkness claim me.

        Is there a difference between being claimed by the earth and dying? A part of me hoped not.

        Then I heard footsteps. Panting breaths, feet trampling dead leaves, and someone’s voice.

        “Nico!”

        For a split second, my heart stopped. It sounds like Will. It really sounded like Will. Did he stay? Did he come back for me, knowing surely I’d do something dumb like run off into the woods and lie on the ground fantasizing about a crude metaphor for dying?

        I pushed myself up, looked in the direction of the voice and…my shoulders fell immediately. It’s wasn’t Will. This boy had wavy blonde hair, a dull dirty blonde, nothing like Will’s golden locks. His eyes were a sweet, chocolate brown. He was a bit shorter than Will, I could tell, but just slightly. Broader shoulders, more muscular. He had his freckles, a smattering of them across his nose and cheeks, and it was true, he bore a strong resemblance to my best friend. Then I realized he said my name, and I had no clue who in Tartarus he was. Immediately, I was on guard.

        “How do you… Know my name?” I asked, examining him again. He didn’t even bother to answer, he was on me in a second.

        “Are you hurt?” He asked, grabbing my hand and examining it. I would have slapped him if he didn’t sound so concerned, and if that concern didn’t manage to throw me off again. I pulled my hand from him, scowling.

        “I’m fine.” I said, even as I notice the blood dripping from my palm, “Answer my question.”

        I might as well have been speaking to a wall, because he completely ignored me, eyes on my knee. I followed his gaze and notice my jeans were torn open there, which I wouldn’t have cared about, if my knee didn’t match the jeans. A wide gash, bleeding heavily and surely from a stick or stone that I fell on. I’m surprised I didn’t feel it, must have been all the adrenaline in the moment. “We have to get this looked at.” He said, looking back up at me. The concern in his eyes was truly jarring, and for a moment, I was frozen.

        The spell was broken when I remembered how he called my name. Up close, he didn’t sound so much like Will. His voice was just a bit deeper, a bit rougher around the edges. I almost wondered if the similarity I heard was a figment of my imagination, my mind wanting to hear Will, and making his voice to satisfy itself. “No. I’m fine.” I insisted, even though now I was beginning to feel the pain of the wound. Still, I pushed myself up, or rather, tried to push myself up. My knee gave out almost instantaneously, and a cry escaped my lips as pain shot up my leg. Okay, so maybe not so fine.

        The boy was, once again, upon me in a moment. Only this time he didn’t pause to look. His arms slid under my back and legs, and he lifted me bridal style into his strong arms. A sound escaped me, somewhere between a startled gasp and a squeak, and my arm automatically went around his shoulders to cling to him. Distantly, I noticed he smelled of cinnamon and hot chocolate, a warm, comforting scent.

        It didn’t stop me from immediately pulling away though, flattening my hand against his chest and pushing my body away from his almost desperately. His arms tensed around me, holding me to him, not budging. “Hey! Hey, calm down, just let me carry you back to camp would you!” His voice was commanding but caring, and almost instantly my push weakened. He was right. No way in Tartarus was I dragging myself back on that leg. I stopped fighting, leaning into his arms to gain enough balance to cross my own.

        “Fine.” I scowled at his chest as he began to walk, my pride overrunning any gratitude I should have been feeling. Who the hell did this guy think he was? Some kind of superhero? What the hell had he even been _doing_ in the woods?

“How did you know my name?” I looked up to his eyes, turning my face into the mask of a scowl. He glanced back to me, big puppydog brown eyes meeting dark black ones.

“I… Saw you around. Took it upon myself to learn.” I could have sworn I saw a blush appear on his face in the fading light. I pushed it aside, though, more focused on the overwhelming concept that someone actually wanted to _know_ me.

Me. The pariah. The odd man out, the boy out of time, the kid who couldn’t even count his problems on his fingers. Someone wanted to know my broken, bent, and twisted soul. Someone wanted to know me, to be my friend, to talk to me. Not because we fought side by side, not because we were forced to spend time together, not because someone told him to.

Someone wanted to know me, for _me._

        “Oh.” Is all I can manage, the sound not menacing or ringing of finality, but rather just an exclamation of realization. “well… That seems a little unfair.”

        Then it was his turn to be confused. He turned his gaze to me once more, arching a dark eyebrow. He looked so innocent when confused, and once again I found myself comparing him to a puppy. In a good way. “Oh?”

        I almost grined at the sound as it rolls out of his lips, which was weird, because a smile was so rare for my lips. “Yeah. I don’t know your name.”

        He smiled, then. A nice smile, on a nice face. A face that reminded me of a puppydog, with chocolate brown eyes. Connected to the body of a boy who smelled like cinnamon, and who felt like a warm blanket after a day in the cold.

        “I’m Alex. Alex Klein, son of Apollo.”

Son of Apollo.

Will’s brother.

That explained. I felt the ghost of a smile falter on my lips, receding back into the emptiness of my chest. Of course, he would be a child of sunlight. Of course, he would belong to the Artist, of course, those warm eyes could only have come from the Sun himself.

My eyes slid from his face, back out to the woods as we walked. The setting sun casts an orange glow over the trees, the shadows of leaves dancing upon their fallen brethren on the forest floor. Alex’s arms were sturdy, and strong. I could feel his heartbeat against my shoulder, steady and firm.

And then my eyes were filling with tears, and I couldn’t tell you why. I’d already cried over Will’s leaving, and yet, the ache returned with a force, and it wall all that damned sunlight’s fault. How it flickered and flashed among the shadows, the two creating living artwork on the ground,

Shadows and sunlight blended before my eyes, and it was beautiful. It brought forth a familiar longing in my chest, a longing for a familiar smile. For the way Will’s eyes crinkled at the corners, and those dimples that formed on his freckled cheeks.

“Are you alright?” Alex’s voice cut through my fantasy, surprisingly hesitant and cautious for such a large boy. My eyes were drawn to his expression, which was a mask of concern, concern I was all too familiar with. His lips turned the same way as Will’s, when he was concerned. Just slightly down, at the corners, not quite a frown.

“I’m fine.” I managed, though my tears thoroughly undermined the statement. Alex’s eyes remained on me for a fragment of a second, a slight hesitance in his gaze, before he looked away.

“It’ll be okay, Nico.” His voice sounded so certain, so firm, I was almost tempted to believe him. But in seven years, nothing had turned out right for me, it seemed. The world had fallen to pieces around me, I had lost everything again and again, seen the depths of Tartarus, watched my friends move on, and been left alone. And here was Alex, saying with complete certainty that it would be okay.

If anything, I envied him that certainty.

But still, he chose not to push it. Not to dig into me, to try to crack me open and look inside. His answer felt right, if there was a right answer. An acknowledgement of my pain without pushing me. Letting me hurt without abandoning me. Alex had answered right, and I appreciated it.

We broke the line of trees that marked the edge of the woods, and I thanked the stars that we were alone. No one to see me in my pathetic state, still sniffling from tears, being carried by a complete stranger. The sun was just finally meeting the horizon, threatening nightfall. Alex carried me in silence, his strides long and confident as we approached the small medical building.

I felt… at peace. Having cried and hurt and bled, both physically and metaphorically, I felt emptied out. But for once, in a good way. Like all the ache and pain had run through, leaving behind the possibility for more. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that somehow the grief had flown for good, but in that moment, as the sun fell and Alex walked, I felt the slightest hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, it _would_ be okay.

He carried me inside, laying me upon a cot, and calling for a girl named Lila. A dark haired girl entered, a girl I was unsurprised to see. Another one of Will’s siblings, who had taken over as head of the Apollo cabin in his absence. She sighed at me, shaking her head. “What did you do this time?”

I forced a small smile for her, shrugging helplessly and praying my face wouldn’t give away my earlier breakdown. Apparently, it didn’t, for she didn’t even bother questioning. The girl grabbed some ambrosia from a cabinet, throwing it at me. “I swear, you get hurt more often than everyone else in this camp combined.” She grumbled, stalking off and shaking her head. I watched her go with a soft sigh, then broke off a bit of ambrosia, popping it into my mouth.

The familiar taste of coffee spilled into my mouth, just slightly too bitter for my tongue. I shut my eyes to enjoy the taste anyways, memories flooding me.

This was not my coffee I tasted, no. In fact, I had only had one taste of this particular cup, on a tongue far too young to enjoy it. I was nine, when my mother had left her coffee unfinished. She had only done this once, and once alone.

I had taken the cup, stolen a drink.

That was the taste that lingered on my tongue in the wake of the ambrosia. The pain in my leg was soothed, and a soft sigh was drawn from me. The ambrosia healed my wounds, and soothed my soul, bringing to mind a simpler time.

When I opened my eyes once more, I found Alex staring at me, something peculiar in his expression. As soon as our gazes met, he looked away, pink tinting his cheeks. Was he… embarrassed?

I realized suddenly that I hadn’t even bothered to thank the guy for his service, or to even scratch at being anything but an emotional mess in response to his kindness. “Thank you,” I said as I sat up, standing on my newly healed knee. The gash ached, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. “For helping me.”

He looked back to me, cracking a smile and standing himself. “No problem, Nico. I just hope you don’t run off and get hurt often. I’d hate to have to start following you around to keep an eye on you.” He joked, his deep voice hinting at a laugh.

I cracked a smile, just for him. He cared, obviously. Which meant quite a bit. “As if that wasn’t what you were already doing, creeper.” I teased him, and he flushed a bit. “You basically told me you were stalking me.”

Alex ran his fingers through his hair, looking a bit nervous. Then he gave a helpless shrug, grinning at me. “Guilty as charged.”

It took a heartbeat of a second, but a snicker was drawn from me as I turned from Alex, heading out of the medical building. He followed, skipping a few steps to walk beside me, and when I looked up into his warm brown eyes, I felt a sense of comfort I hadn’t felt so fast in quite some time.

We clicked. Like I had with Will, but without all the romantic feelings to blur my vision. We clicked like friends did, and I could only hope that Alex had the same feeling. “What, gonna follow me home?” I teased again, hoping for more banter.

“Actually, I was heading back to my cabin. Not everything’s about you, Ghosty.” He shot right back, letting out a laugh. I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Fine, then.” I crossed my arms over my chest, pausing for a moment to give him a weak glare. His laughter was nice, it filled my chest.

“Fine.” He stopped, looking back at me, arching an eyebrow challengingly.

“Fine.” I said with mock finality, turning to leave and walk to my own cabin. _Please stop me,_ a little voice in my chest begged the universe, _please don’t leave me all alone again._

“See you tomorrow?” He called after me, his voice hopeful. My feet stopped briefly as warmth flooded my chest. He wanted to see me tomorrow. He wanted to spend time with me. I wasn’t going to be alone. Excitement filled my veins as I looked over my shoulder, at the boy.

As the sun spluttered it’s last light over the world, he grinned at me, his chocolate brown eyes warm, his hands tucked in his pockets. The wind ruffled his dirty blonde hair, but he didn’t reach to fix it, just watched me, a hint of anxiety in his gaze.

“Fine.” I called back before turning, and walking back to my cabin, somehow less alone than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, so sorry this took so long to post. Life got away from me, it was a struggle.  
> Anyways, introducing Alex Klein, son of Apollo, brother to Will. He's a cutie, isn't he?  
> ...Not for long >:D  
> (I hope the next update won't take as long, yeah?)


	4. Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I loved him like a crashing wave  
> Like a cannon ball  
> Like we'd never cave  
> Like a freefall.

The next morning, I was greeted by the  _ loudest,  _ most absolutely  _ awful  _ trumpet solo I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. It pierced through my sleep, which I get precious little of to begin with, and dragged me into consciousness. 

I sat up with a groan as the trumpet outside hit a high, loud note, shattering my eardrums. Whoever was playing that god awful instrument, I swore I was going to shove it so far up their ass, they would be coughing up brass for a month. 

My feet dragged me to the window, where I tore open my curtain, a dark scowl on my features. The morning light flooded my eyes unexpectedly, and I almost hissed as I flung my arm up to help block some of the assaulting rays, hunching a bit. The trumpeter seemed to get excited, blowing his instrument even louder, rattling my brain. 

My eyes adjusted, and I was able to see the Underworld’s newest resident more clearly as I removed my substituted sunshade. 

Flowing dirty blonde hair, smattering of freckles over his nose, chocolate brown eyes that gazed at me, Alex Klein was a dead man. The golden instrument glittered in the sunlight as he pulled it away from his lips, giving me a wide, innocent grin that a part of me, however oppressed, thought was adorable. The rest of me wanted to slap it right off his freckled face. I tore the curtains closed again, which of course was his queue to begin playing that  _ gods awful  _ instrument once more. 

Storming out of my cabin in just my pajama pants and a black T-shirt, I approached the soon-to-be cadaver. Once again, he pulled the trumpet aside, but this time he seemed to pick up on my death glare, for his smile didn’t spread so wide. No, it was more of a mischievous smirk that a third grader would wear after successfully pranking the teacher. Which seemed fitting, seeing as he was acting like such a child.  

“What the  _ hell  _ are you doing, Alex!?” I wasn’t much of a yeller, but my voice carried, sounding sharp to my own ears. The freckled boy met my gaze, grin widening. He must have gotten some form of sick pleasure from pissing me off, or something, because his eyes sparkled like a kid on Halloween. 

“Giving you a taste of quality music.” He said, grinning, as if waiting for me to say some specific thing. I knew what he wanted me to say, and I would say it, for really there was no other way to respond to that.   
“That was the sound of someone brutally murdering a trumpet.” I glared, and a laugh bubbled out of Alex, stopping me in my tracks. It sounded part bright, part mischievous, and then he lifted the instrument back to his lips. 

I flinched like someone had just pulled the pin on a grenade, thinking immediately to run. As I turned, I heard a single, long note. And then Alex burst into song, and I never knew a trumpet could sound so beautiful. He played like his heart depended on it, and while loud, the music was not intolerable. Upbeat and unexpected, flowing around the area and managing to lift even my heart as I turned back to face him. 

His fingers flew over the notes, his eyes shut as he hit highs and lows, the beat surging with him. I crossed my arms over my chest as he hit a slower part, only to pick up the pace once more, and though I kept my scowl carefully placed on my face, I could tell he saw through it. I could see it in his eyes, as they cracked to regard me, in the tilt of his smile as he pulled the trumpet from his lips, from the tenor of his voice as he teased me, “ _ that,  _ was real music.”

In response I met his gaze, narrowed my eyes, said “I still fucking hate jazz.” and turned on a heel, entering my cabin once more. The door slammed behind me, and I knew I was being immature, but I fell face first onto my bed and groaned. Fuck Alex Klein for waking me up. 

I was lying there, dead to the world when that sound pierced through my skull again. I groaned as loud as I could, and the sound cut off, the echoes of it mixing with the sound of Alex’s loud laughter. 

“GO THE FUCK AWAY!” I yelled so he could hear, rolling over as I did so. More laughter. 

“GET UP, DI ANGELO” Alex yelled back, and I looked towards the source. Standing in the window I had revealed earlier, he wore the most disgustingly smug grin I had ever seen someone wear. I and  _ hated  _  him for it. 

Promptly, I responded to his request with a middle finger.

Again, he blasted into his trumpet, and I truly wondered how he could defile an instrument so. “GET UP!” 

And so, I got up. With a glare on my face, I got up, because I knew I wouldn’t get any more sleep even without the world’s worst alarm clock. Alex was still smiling when I walked over to the window, and yanked the curtains shut. 

I heard the beginning of another instrumental screech, and so I yelled “LET ME GET DRESSED!”

Alex shut up after that. 

Twenty minutes later, I was still grumpy, walking beside Satan himself. Alex hummed a gentle song as he walked, a smile on his lips, shoulders back as he strode through camp. I hated him, and yet he insisted on being a huge ball of sunshine that was really,  _ really  _ hard to hate. But I did. I hated Alex Klein.

Okay, maybe I was overexaggerating a bit. 

“So what do you want to do today, Ghostie?” Alex asked in his sickeningly cheerful manner, and I shot him a glare. He responded with an awfully persistent smile. 

“I don’t know. What did you drag me out of bed to do?” He responded coldly, but all that earned was a larger smile from Alex.

“Oh, I thought you’d never ask.” He breathed before grabbing my arm and running, dragging me along behind. I stumbled a few steps before finding his pace and keeping up, pretty much running. 

“Alex, let  _ go  _ of me! Where are we going!?” All I got in response was Alex’s laugh as he pulled me into the woods, the trees and greenery flying past us as we ran. Despite my anger, I felt a little rush, running who knows where through the woods with Alex. It was like an adventure, like an escape. A rush. 

My feet followed his, his palm against my wrist, the light catching his hair as we ran. Illuminated by the stubborn light that fought it’s way through the leaves, it almost looked golden, that hair. Beautiful. 

Then he turned a corner, dodging trees like a madman, and we burst out of the woods into the world of light. I looked around as he slowed and released me, at the view of the ocean, beautiful and brilliant in the morning light. We were high, on the edge of a cliff over the water, and it was stunning. The sun glittered on the water, making the entire ocean look like a gemstone. Waves crashed against the beach, creating a slow, soft beat. I approached the edge, looking over the sea with a small gasp. “Alex…”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He said, approaching me from behind, voice soft and warm. I glanced over to him and felt a smile tugging at my lips. 

“It really is.” Any anger I might have held for Alex was long gone, replaced with admiration for all I saw. My eyes slid up to the sky, a beautiful blue sky, endlessly azure. I felt Alex’s hand on my shoulder, and looking to him, I saw him smile.

Alone up here, the wind ruffling our hair gently, and Alex was smiling. For me. Just for me. He was looking at me with those soft, warm eyes, like he had brought me all the way up here just to look at me, and he was smiling. Just for me. I felt something in my chest, some twinge of my heart. A good twinge. 

So I smiled back, just for him. A real smile. A smile only Will had been able to draw from me beforehand. The breeze blew from behind me, pushing me closer, and I felt my feet comply. Alex’s gaze was steady as he met my own, and he took a step closer as well, making personal space shared space. His hands wrapped around my own gently, slowly. 

His eyes were warm, and whole. Not cracked and damaged like mine. His touch was firm and soft. Not weak and calloused like mine. But he leaned in, anyways, his face nearing mine. 

Distantly, the waves crashed against the beach, a gentle sound from where we stood. Even more distantly, Will was in class, surrounded by people he could have. People he wanted to have. 

And Alex Klein was leaning down to kiss me. I let my eyes slip closed, my lips part slightly. And I waited. 

Only the kiss didn’t land. The crashing of the waves became louder as I let my eyes slide open, and Alex’s face was close, too close. But he was grinning, that stupid grin that told me he was up to something. “Wanna know why I really come up here? It’s not just for the view.”

I felt myself flush. Alex wasn’t going to kiss me. Why would he want to kiss  _ me? _ “Uh… Why?” I stumbled over my words, trying to say something intelligent. Or accurate. 

Then he pulled away, suddenly and quickly, and I felt a chill in his absence. He dashed closer to the edge, a grin on his face. “Come here, Angelo.” The way he cut off the ‘di’ in my name was almost irritating, almost endearing.  

I approached him where he stood, overlooking the ocean. The breeze helped cool my cheeks as I felt a dash of fear, we’re quite high up, and it’s a free fall into the waves below. I glanced to the side, up at Alex’s face. His lips were curled in a broad grin, something mad in his eyes as he looked back at me. 

And then he speaks, and I felt my heart stop. Oh no.  _ Oh hell no. _

“We’re gonna jump over the edge.” 

My eyes drifted over, down to the ocean below, it’s a good 50 feet. He could not expect me to do that. I’d die, or get hurt, or something. “No.” 

He responded without hesitation, and though I wasn’t looking, I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Yes.”

I turned to him, crossing my arms and glaring up at those chocolatey brown eyes. “I’m not jumping off of a  _ fucking cliff,  _ Alex.” 

“Well, technically it’s diving, since there’s water down there.” He grinned, eyes sparkling with excitement, “And I’ll do it with you, so yes.  _ We  _ are  _ diving  _ off off a fucking cliff, Nico.”

I didn’t even give him a response. I turned, and started walking away. “Nico, wait!” He called, hand reaching out to grab my arm. My feet stilled as he moved to stand in front of me. “Come on... I promise it’s safe.” 

I glanced up at him, about to tell him to shove it where the sun don’t shine when I was met with his sure, steady gaze. My words died in my throat as he reached out, taking my hands in his. Large fingers enveloped mine, warm and firm. “Nico… You can trust me.”

And strangely enough, I did.

He was strong, tall and broad. He held his head high and when he spoke, his voice was sure and calm, as if he’d never say anything he’d regret. Alex Klein was a pillar, and I was lost in a storm. I trusted him.

I almost didn’t believe it was me when I finally spoke. “...Okay.” 

His grin threatened to split his face as he moved away, keeping only one of my hands in his larger one. “Fantastic. We’ll do it together, okay?” We moved to the edge, his steps sure and without hesitation, mine slow and cautious. He brought me closer to the edge than before, and I could see where the water lapped against stone, where sea ended and earth began. “Take off your shoes, we’ll come back for them.” And in a haze, I slipped them off, the stone of the edge cool against my bare feet. Beside me, Alex did the same.

My eyes were unsure as I glanced at him, but he met them with that determination in his gaze, that even sureness that I didn’t know whether to envy or admire. “We can do this, Nico.  _ You  _ can do this. On the count of three, okay?” 

He was so certain that I could do this. So absolutely sure that he was willing to risk my hesitance messing up his fall. My heart picked up, and I knew I couldn’t not do it. 

“One.”

But the trees weren’t so far, and the darkness looked like home to me in that moment. 

“Two.”

Alex squeezed my fingers, and I felt my heart stop. No. I couldn’t run. Alex believed in me. In  _ me.  _ I let my eyes slide from the forest to meet his as he smiled. 

“Three.”

We pitched over the edge at the same time, and I left my stomach behind me as we fell, wind whipping past our ears, nothing but the sound and rush of air around us. I suddenly understood what it was to be a bird with a broken wing, while Alex looked like he was soaring. 

No,  _ we  _ were soaring. 

He released my hand as we neared the water, and I plugged my nose, squeezing my eyes shut as I broke the surface of the ocean. Suddenly surrounded by the deep blue, I kicked my legs, eyes still shut as I swam upwards. 

I burst back above the waves, gasping for breath, surrounded by the bright blue of the sky and the slightly darker blue of the ocean. Then Alex surfaced beside me, and my arms and legs kept me above the waves as my gasping turned to laughter. I managed to meet Alex’s gaze for a second, in time to see him laughing too, his eyes crinkled in the corners. “To the shore!” 

I followed his lead, swimming for the not too far off beach, the waves somehow knowing to go easy on us. I decided I’d have to pray to Poseidon to thank him for that kindness later. My body was still alight with adrenaline as I dragged myself onto the shore. Alex flopped over, when his body was free, and I followed the lead, somehow both exhausted and alight with excitement. 

We lay there, just breathing, our hands close but not touching, the water lapping against our feet, for a span of time that could have been a minute or an hour. Then, Alex started laughing. 

And like that, I was laughing, too. Soaking wet, now covered in sand, we laughed. We laughed because we felt so incomprehensibly  _ alive  _ in that moment, we laughed because we had just fallen fifty feet and  _ survived.  _

We were invincible, laying on that beach, laughing like we’d never laughed before. I looked over to Alex as he rolled onto his side, facing me and curling up as laughter wracked his body. And I looked to him, still on my back, as my laughter receded into giggles and snickers. 

Eventually we needed air, our gasping breaths interrupted by small snickers until both laughter and breathing calmed. He looked up to me, chocolate brown eyes sparkling as he smiled. 

My returning smile came easily, naturally, as if my lips were made to smile back at Alex Klein. He had made me this way. He had made me happy, happier than I’d been since Will left. 

“What’d you think?” He asked, eyes sparkling as if he already knew the answer. And, the way he looked, he did already know. It was amazing. Heart-stopping. Life-changing. I had felt more alive than I ever thought I had before, and I knew I’d never forget the image of the edge of the cliff flying into the sky as my body plummeted towards the ocean.

“Meh. It was alright.” I teased, feeling my lips curl into a playful smirk as Alex scoffed. 

“Nico di Angelo, I just jumped off of a  _ cliff  _ with you, and you have the nerve to say it was just… Alright?” He shook his head at me, his smile somehow getting wider, “I’d like to know what you classify as great, if that was just ‘alright’.”

“Oh…” I tried to think of a witty response, grinning when I found one, “Spending my morning sleeping, and my afternoon reading in the silence of my cabin… So pretty much a day without  _ you. _ ” It would have been harsh, but my teasing tone softened the blow to where al it did was draw a chuckle from Alex. 

“I’m gonna give you a chance to take that back, Reaper.” He said challengingly but jokingly.  I met his gaze evenly, feeling my defiant streak take control. 

“Make me.”

And like that, Alex was in action. He lunged at me, barely giving me a chance to roll aside as sand flew and laughter rang out to the ocean air. Alex was faster than I expected as he followed my movements, catching hold of my shoulder to keep me from rolling, his grip strong. “Agh! No!” I laughed as I tried to break free, but he was on me in a moment, basically sitting on my hips to pin me to the ground. 

But I fought him still, shoving my hands against his chest in an attempt to push him off as he laughed his apparent victory. All that achieved was him grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head easily with his weight, his face close to mine, a cocky smirk seemingly permanent on it. I tried to tug free, to no avail. He had me totally pinned. 

“One more chance, Angelo.” He grinned down at me, “Take it back.”

“Or what?” I challenged once more, glaring up at him. His grew, eyes flashing in such a way I felt a twinge of fear. What would he do?

My question was answered shortly after when he leaned down, face getting closer to mine, and suddenly the mood changed for me. My heart stopped as for the second time that day I was certain that Alex was going to kiss me, once more completely unsure of how to react, how to feel. And then… He licked me. 

One long lick from the corner of my mouth to my cheekbone, his saliva cool against my cheek. “OH, GROSS!” I screamed, doubling my efforts to get out of his iron grip, “YOU’RE GROSS!!” 

He burst into laughter, and I glared at him, wondering if anyone would be upset if I summoned some skeletons to kick his ass. He grinned evilly down at me, leaning in closer again, our noses just centimeters apart. 

“Take it back.”

I met his gaze evenly, stubbornly keeping my mouth shut. His tongue shot out, licking the very tip of my nose even as I whined at him. There was not escape. 

“Fine, FINE!” I gave in, “I.. .take it back. A day without you isn’t great. Okay?” I pouted at him, but his smile at my words almost made it worth it. Almost. 

“Aw, now you’re just flattering me.” He joked, making me roll my eyes at him.

“Just get off of me already.” I grumbled, looking off to the sky beside his head, waiting for him to move. Only he didn’t. He kept me pinned there, and when my eyes slide back to his face, I could have sworn I caught something in his gaze. Something longing and indecisive. Before I could examine it further, he’d pulled away, releasing my wrists. 

I wasn’t sure when the mood shifted, but it had as he turned away, his expression hidden to my eyes. I sat up, looking to him, a bit concerned. “Alex?”

He looked to me, then, his expression clouded. “Nico…” He said my name as if there was more to it, like he had an entire monologue planned out, his fingers reaching for mine. 

I only registered the fact that he had moved when his lips were on mine. 

Alex was kissing me. 

_ Actually  _ kissing me. 

His lips were chapped, rough and somehow simultaneously gentle, his hand grasping at mine as he kissed me deeply, slowly. I was frozen, a statue in the face of my shock. He was kissing me. 

When he pulled away, the first thing I registered was that most people would die to say they shared their first kiss with a beautiful boy while sat upon the beach watching the waves. The second thing I registered was that I was not, and never will be, one of those people. 

Alex Klein had kissed me. 

He looked at me, something that resembled fear on his expression. Alex spoke as if he’d never say anything he’d regret, and he lived the same way. I, however, did not. I spoke as if I would regret every word that crossed my lips, and I lived like every step could be my downfall.

Alex Klein had kissed me. 

He said something, I wasn’t sure what, as I stood. I heard his voice as if underwater as I walked away, my mind a haze. My bare feet carried me toward camp, dripping wet and covered in sand, mind blank. 

Alex Klein had kissed me. 

I walked past people who tried not to stare. I walked past people who stared with wide eyes, unashamedly. I was certain I must have looked like some sort of ocean ghost, dark eye bags paired with dripping wet, sandy hair. I felt suddenly cold, freezing actually, a kind of cold I hadn’t felt on that sunlight beach.

I reached my cabin, shutting the door behind me, the click of the latch the first sound I could hear, echoing in my head, rattling all those barely held back thoughts and emotions. I was alone. The bubble shock had made burst, and suddenly I was feeling, feeling a million things I couldn’t quite describe.

A part of me was aware that it was only a kiss, that people kissed all the time, that no one in the history of ever had died of a kiss. A part of me knew I was overreacting. And the rest of me? The rest of me didn’t give a shit.

Alex Klein had taken my first kiss. On a whim, he had taken it, on impulse. I hadn’t even known him a day and he had kissed me. That kiss was gentle and sweet and everything I had imagined, maybe, but he had taken it. It probably meant nothing to him. It meant everything to me. 

Suddenly i was ripping my shirt off, throwing it at a wall. It meant nothing to him. He’d kissed me as easily as he’d step on a bug. I was sure he did this all the time, jumped off of cliffs with every boy he found bleeding in the woods, kissed them in the sand after he made them feel all alive. My pants followed, and my underwear and I was storming into the shower, determined to wash every last fucking piece of Alex Klein from my skin. 

The water was hot when it washed over my back, burning my skin, but for once I liked it. I ran my hair under it, the hot water freeing the grains of sand caught in the thick curls. And suddenly… I just felt abandoned. 

I had hoped for a friend. I had hoped for someone to go to when the nights got long and dark, someone who could make me smile. But Alex…

Alex had gone and twisted me all up. He’d made me more than smile, he’d made me laugh. He’d run through the woods with me, he’d jumped off cliffs with me, Alex had made me feel alive and young and free when I’d spent far too long feeling like I only breathed because I wasn’t strong enough to stop. 

He’d done so much more than just be my friend, and I hated him for it. I hated him for kissing me like it meant nothing, for making me ache like this. I hated him for sending me into a state of confusion. 

The sand and seawater washed down the drain as I cleansed myself of him, but below the skin he lingered. His hands holding my own, his lips on mine. I couldn’t wash away the memory. After some time, I stepped out of the shower, grabbing for a towel. I ran it over my hair, rubbing at it violently to try and dry it a bit. The water clung to my thick hair, however, until I finally gave up and snaked the towel around my waist. 

The air was cool outside of the bathroom, making goosebumps rise on my skin. I dressed quickly, in another pair of black jeans and a grey T-Shirt, my hair curling in it’s damp state. After the long morning, I was just… exhausted. Worn out. The emotional rollercoaster had just left me beat. I went to fall onto my bed when a knock on the door stopped me, drawing a groan from somewhere deep inside me. I had to answer, I knew I had to answer, i just  _ really  _ didn’t want to. 

My feet dragged me to the door, and I tore it open with an annoyed “What?”, looking to the person who had stopped me. Only… There was no one there. My brow furrowed as I looked around, searching for some purpose. Ding dong ditch wasn’t really something people did at camp, especially not to the creepy Hades kid.

My eyes landed on a pair of shoes outside my door. More specifically,  _ my  _ shoes. The ones I had left on the cliff. Alex must have brought them for me. 

I retrieved them, backing into my cabin and shutting the door. He hadn’t even stuck around to say hi. To apologize. To… Say anything. So the kiss really was that meaningless to him. My heart was heavy as I walked back to the bed, tears stinging at my eyes. 

Why? Why had he kissed me if he didn’t even give a damn about me? Did he just go around kissing boys who gave him even a little bit of attention? Did he enjoy breaking hearts?

The shoes clattered to the ground as I flung myself onto my bed, feeling sick to my stomach. He’d taken my first kiss without thought. He’d just stolen it from me. 

Again, I felt the ache of caring for someone who did not care about me. Percy, Will… Now Alex, too, joined the list. Was that my curse? To always get tripped up over boys who could care less? 

I trusted him. Atop that cliff, I trusted Alex Klein with all I had, I jumped off a cliff with him. Tears overflowed as I buried my face in my pillow, body aching and heart fracturing. I had only known Alex a day, and yet… I had let myself get so enveloped by him, let myself fall into him so easily, so quickly. 

And I was alone again. I had to face another tomorrow without anyone to talk to, without anyone to care for or be cared for by. I would slip into the background once more, like I had after the attack of Gaea, like I had after everyone else left me behind. I would stop existing to them, stop existing to anyone.

It wasn’t fair. 

 

I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep, between the hollowness in my chest and the tears that fell, but I had. I awoke in a haze, unsure how long I’d been out for. With a groan, I sat up, a dull aching in my head telling me I had cried far too much last night. Or was it earlier today?

My bare feet met stone as I walked to the bathroom, the coolness waking me a bit more. Once there, I splashed some water on my face, the liquid helping wake me up even more. Gripping the sink for support, I glanced up in the mirror. 

I looked like shit. Red-ringed eyes set in a face that was somehow more pale than before, hair a mess, sticking up in more places than it lay down, I looked like a fucking horror movie. I turned from the ghost in the mirror, drying my face in a towel and walking back out into the main area. 

My eyes landed on my shoes dropped carelessly in the middle of the floor,and I remembered Alex. Alex’s lips, his touch, his steady gaze as we toppled off the edge of the world together. He had brought the shoes to me. My head throbbed as my eyes slid away, only to catch on a bright white slip of paper. A note?

I picked it up before I could think, unfolding it and reading, 

“Nico,

I wanted to apologize for kissing you so suddenly. I was feeling reckless and impulsive, and I don’t know, I thought I saw something there. In you. I thought you wanted it. But… I was obviously wrong. I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you any discomfort. I just… I’ve been developing feelings for you. But I can set those feelings aside, if it means I can keep your friendship. I just really hope this doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends.

-Alex”

My heart stopped, grip tight on the sheet of paper. He had obviously put it in the shoe, intending for me to find it. Alex had feelings for me. The kiss hadn’t meant nothing. He didn’t want to lose me. He still wanted me.  _ He still wanted me. _

Relief flooded my system, and I felt a smile burst across my face. I had to tell him. It was now or never, I had to tell him I had similar feelings, I had to-

“Nico?”

A familiar voice rang out beside me, and I jumped out of my skin, the paper flying from my grasp as I looked up frantically. There was Will, standing in his rainbow, looking at me with a smile on his face. He laughed gently when he saw my reaction, the sound like a breath of fresh air. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. What were you reading? It looked like you had just won the lottery or something, I don’t think I’ve seen you smile that wide in weeks!” he teased, and my heart  swelled with his voice. 

“None of your business.” I shot back, making him chuckle again. I hated my heart for skipping at the sound of it. 

“Same old Nico…” I couldn’t help but smile at that. Will was comfortable, he knew me better than anyone else had. His blue eyes sparkled as they rested on me, a lazy smile on his lips, and again I felt my heart skip a beat.

He was beautiful, like the sun itself. Any emotion I felt for Alex was washed away quickly by that smile of his, forgotten in the rush that happened every time my eyes met Will’s.”What do you want?” I shifted my body to face him, arching an eyebrow at that stupidly gorgeous face of his. 

“Just came to check up on my favorite son of Hades.” He grinned, knowing damn well that Nico  _ was the only son of Hades.  _ “How was your day?” 

I flashed back to this morning, the rush of falling. Back to my sinking depression. Back to the note. The day had been to Tartarus and back emotion wise, but if I told Will he’d ask. For some reason, I really didn’t want to tell him about my feelings for Alex. “It was… Alright. Nothing too terribly interesting happened. How about you?”  _ Understatement of the year. _

He got really excited, like he had only asked about my day so I would ask about his. His eyes alight like that, freckles popping out against tanned skin, my heart ached and warmed at the same time. I considered the idea of just ditching Alex and waiting for Will. Praying he would come around. “I’m going to help one of my classmates study, we have a big test coming up and she asked me for help, we’re going to get coffee.” He sounded really excited for a tutoring session, “Our professor recommended me to her! Which means my professor thinks I’m great, pretty much.” He grinned at me as he bragged, drawing a snicker from me.

“More like he thinks you’re a total nerd.”

Will pouted at me, sticking his tongue out. “Whatever. I’m the greatest and everyone knows it.” Despite his pout, I could see the smile tugging at his lips, and it set me at ease. Will was like coming home after a day in the cold. How could I give up on him when he made me feel like this? How could I move on to Alex when he was so… warm? “But anyways, I have to go soon for my study date, I just wanted to check in on you.”

My heart stopped. “Study  _ date? _ ” I questioned his phrasing, the cold winds of fear blowing into my chest. 

Will blushed, laughing awkwardly and rubbing the back of his neck. “Er- That’s what she called it. It’s not a date, really, we’re just meeting up…” He tried to explain, but all I could see was Will and this girl, likely beautiful, sitting together and studying medical things. How she would lean over, into his space, and he’d look over and meet her gaze, and time would stop for them both as he leaned down, and…

It made me sick.

“Right.” I said hollowly, “Right. Go do that.” 

If Will made an expression, I didn’t see. My mind was a million miles away, racing, and Will was kissing this girl, and she was beautiful in ways I could never be, and all was as it should be. Will would never want me like I wanted him. Waiting was useless, he didn’t  _ want me. _

“Bye,” Will said, his voice gentle in ways I knew I would always crave, and then his image disappeared. Silence encroached like ice over my heart, and I knew, I knew I couldn’t stay there. I needed to be free. 

My heart picked up in my chest as I turned, and all i could think about was how she would wrap her arms around his shoulders, how their studying would be abandoned for more interesting pursuits. I left the cabin, the sound of my heart in my ears rushing forth, muting the world. All I could hear was the steady  _ thump, thump thump  _ moving in time with my feet as they carried me somewhere, anywhere. 

_ Thump. _

The sun was setting, the world awash in gold, 

_ Thump _

His lips would be so soft, and his touch so light against her skin

_ Thump  _

He was standing by the woods, watching the sunset

_ Thump _

She would pull him closer, until their bodies were molded together

_ Thump _

My feet carried me towards him, and he turned to me,

_ Thump _

He would whisper such sweet things between kisses, 

_ Thump  _

I was reaching up, up, hooking the back of his neck, pulling him down,

_ Thump _

Their lips locked, their souls entwined, Will would love her so deeply,

_ Thump _

My lips connected to Alex’s, my chest pressed against his, and his arms were so warm as they wrapped around me, and he smelled of cinnamon and warmth, and the sun was setting, sending golden light over the world, and Will was on a study date with a beautiful girl, and I was kissing Alex Klein, and all my pieces came together only to fall apart, but in that moment all I could care about was the present, the moment, when we were whole and young and free and our hearts burned as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT TOOK SO LONG I AM SORRY  
> Here is your update. I know a lot happened, but bear with me.   
> Next chapter featuring Will's POV!!


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